Once upon a time in 2011:

Yassmalik's phone ringing at 9 o'clock in the morning- (munni badnaam huvi darling tere liye- ringtone getting louder)
Since last one hour Yassmalik is inside the bathroom practicing his Urdu speech fully decorated with Kashmiri accent
(Hindostaan Kay Awaam Ko Moolom Hona Chaheyea Kay Kashmir Aaik Mutanaziya Allakaa haay...)
Mrs. Malik: Malik Saab, someone is calling you- 16 miscalls.
Yassmalik: shouts back - Pick it up..Pick it up - if it was Toath (Gheelani) – tell him i am busy on the other line with Barkha Dutt.
Mrs. Malik: Malik Saab, it's Sushma calling-
Yassmalik: Stretching out his arm from the half open door-- pass it to me- Jaldi
Phone rings again- (munni badnaam huvi darling tere liye)- Sushma calling…
Yassmalik: Heyllo… Heyllo… (while caressing his little johny)
Sushma: Salaamwalikum yassji, this is Sushma from delhi.
Yassmalik: Oh! WalikumNamaskar Pushpaji this is Yass malik how are you?
Sushma: fine, what are you doing?
Yassmalik: Shitting...I mean just sitting Pushpaji.
Sushma: Yassji..i am Sushma not Pushpa.
Sushma from Bee Jay Pee.
Yassmalik: Pee? No its shit!
Sushma: You are so rude
Yasmalik: dude? Thankyou! Sushmaji.
Sushma: I am coming to kashmir.
Yassmalik: Kashmir? When? Why? – (mallik wishpers - laanath hai wach)
                 But this is the off season and June is far away.
Sushma: I don’t think you are watching TV these a days.
Yassmalik: Yes I do. There is Sajjad lone everywhere. I heard Karan Johar is signing him in his next flick. Even Toath has got an offer to host Bigboss season-5.

Sushma: I am coming to Shrinagar to hoist indian flag there.

Yassmalik: You? Srinagar? he he he- my ass.
Sushma: What did you say?
Yassmalik: I mean Aman ki aas – Our next memoranda.
Sushma: Thats all bakwaas, be ready I am coming with Triranga on 26th jan.
Yassmalik: 26th jan?Triranga?- Awah Shaalmeeren
Sushma: what?
Yassmalik: Nothing. Nothing- i said don't forget to bring your Shawl- it's very cold here.
Sushma: Salaamwalikum!
Yassmalik: WalikumNamaskar!