Friday, January 14, 2011

Hey aaye aaye!

J&K Government invites applications from Kashmiri domiciles for the appointment of constables in J&K Police Department

Age limit:- 18+

Reservation:-
                        SC (scheduled caste) -  10%
                        ST  (scheduled tribe) - 10%
                        SP  (Stone Pelters)     - 60%
         Children of Ex Sangbaaz Men -  20%


Experience Required:-
#  Candidate should have a minimum 3 years of indepth field knowledge in stone pelting.

#  Candidate should be able to demonstrate the Salsa techniques and body movements in accordance with the rythms of Ragda Ragda!

#  Candidate should match a voice frequency of 14000Hz or more while shouting a high pitch slogan like "Hey Aaye Aaye Aazadi"

Candidate must be fluent in both kashmiri as well as urdu sloganeering with high expertise in "Military wala doodh mai daala phirbi sala kaala hai" &  Jagg borukh baatay goule aayas Ly***"


Remuneration:-
     30% onspot appraisal plus"Khinz".
     *Onspot apprisals are only provided to the candidates from SP catagory based on their previous income earned as a stone pelter.

Note:- Unsucessful candidates are encouraged to actively participate in coming summer stone pelting session named - "Khoon ka badla june mai lengay" .It is a 6 months crash course designed to understand and learn how to handle the critical situations in a gurella warfare.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Good comment !
But those who are in secretrait these days were stone pelters in shiekh Abdul's Time.

Cycleji said...

@Idc: So that means i should not get surprised if they get a reservation in future politics so that we are completely taken over by these ignorant dictators.