Shaal KaK

When I was a kid my uncle would often tell me Shaal Kak’s stories and I would listen to them with my eyes closed and every scene running live in my thoughts. In the dark wintry nights of 90’s when militancy was at its peak and being a Mujahidin was considered cool, sitting in my uncle’s laps and keenly listening to adventures of Shaal Kak was my favorite pastime. Those times when owning a bajaj scooter was a luxury and television was limited to privileged ones, I was a little kid growing up in middle class family living my short lived dreams. I was always fascinated by this Shaal Kak’s character. I would always imagine Shaal Kak as an old man with a long white beard as if Santa Clause in Kashmiri attire wearing a brown Karakulli cap and neat white Pheran. There was something very funny about Shaal Kak. He had a single long hair on his bum and my uncle would always start the story with his favorite line: Akkha aus shaal kaka Maal kaka, tas aus chakji peth waal kaka waal kaka (Once there was a Shaal Kak and he had single hair attached to his bum and I would burst into my first laughter. Funnily I would imagine Shaal Kak’s bum as big as a jackfruit and as bright as full moon. That single hair attached to his poop chute was a big turnoff! I only enjoyed listening to these stories from my uncle. He would add a different spice to the story and present it like a delicious platter. I remember after my school, I would eagerly wait for him to come back from work and continue from where I had fell asleep yesterday. Those days electricity was a scarce commodity and empty electric bulbs were merely a show piece. Candles and mantle lanterns were an important part of our household. After the candle light dinner many interesting family discussions would turn lanes around the candle flame which would last till its string burnt its last and mom would say pakiv shungov, shamaa log mukline (let’s sleep, candle is about to turn off) I would patiently wait for these discussions to get over so that uncle could narrate to me the adventures of Shaal Kak. In winter the snow would pile on the roof, as soon as the temperature warmed up it came sliding off the roof with a loud crashing noise “Drufff” and the noise was horrible, like the sky was falling! It would scare the hell out of me and I would shrink myself into uncle’s laps. Seeing my eye lids drooping with sleep, he would slowly pat my back and sing: Alla Alla karu Jigroo, Raschi khanje sabra karu Jigroo! He had a variety of songs and when I used to ask him where he learnt them, he would say Shaal Kak taught him so. I still remember many of them like:


“Bisht Bisht Braaryo
 Khotakho Vunn .
 Torraa kyaah Voluth
 Babri Punn.
 Su Kamunn trovuth
 Kottarunn.”


“Wadd Ven Gubrov Osh Mov Traav
  Kawan Unnai Rekke Adde Paav
  Audd Thaav Chundass
  Su Khezi Wandas
  Audd Thaav Aalis
  Su Deazi Malis”


“Hop Lop Chhop Kurr
 Mauj Gayee Greit bal,
 Torra anni Saut Pull
 Audd thaav Chunduss
 Su Poshee Vanduss
 Audd Thaav Aaliss
 Su Poshee Reit kaaliss”


My dad was not impressed with my obsession for Shaal Kak. He would often tell my uncle you are spoiling him. This time he should be sitting on his books and doing some home work but uncle who was equally afraid of my dad would listen from one ear and out the other. After all his unsuccessful efforts, Dad thought of a brilliant idea to get rid of Shaal Kak. Dad introduced a rival character in my life called “Khok”. Khok was an evil being who would take away little children who don’t finish their home work and hand them over to a vampire called “Raantas”. To cut the long story short he once told me that Shaal Kak was dead because Khok burnt him alive in a small hut which was situated uphill. When I asked how did he know all this, he said he heard Khok singing Shaal kaka didvoo larre pherin deevoo deviv na te didvooooo! (Burn O Shaal Kak Burn- Turn O Shaal Kak turn- if you don’t turn, you anyway shall burn!) And I overheard dad saying "Buddih te muud, chaas te lotaay" The old man died and so did his coughing!